Losing a pet in the states while you’re an expat

Our fur babies were born in September of 2004 in North Carolina to a stray cat that Dave’s sister was taking care of. She was in the process of moving up to New York (where we were at the time, in Upstste) and had to find homes for the kittens and I said if she couldn’t find anyone there that Dave and I would take them.   Needless to say we were parents to two cute little kitties a few weeks later 😻

When we got the sisters they were so little, a calico and a black and white long haired that was a little plump. We didn’t name them right away, they had to have the perfect names. One night it occurred to me in the middle of the night - Jarvis Marylebone and Thistle Kensington - these two strange names of places (hotels) Dave and I had been in London a few years prior.  There I knew it, the cats were to be named Marley and Kensie and their names fit them so perfectly. 

After we had the cats only a few days we realized they were filled with fleas, so we bathed and bathed them and kept them in our laundry room while we tried bombing the house. I remember going to bed one night and actually asking Dave if we could get rid of them because I was so grossed out by the fleas!  I feel so guilty saying that now as I look back to what a short time that was and what a special part of our lives they were. 

Marley (calico) and Kensie (b&w) were my buddies the first few years because Dave was so busy working in his Masters/M.B.A. that anytime we were home from work he was locked away doing schoolwork.  It was nice to have the girls to talk to or hang out with! 

In 2007 we got the opportunity to move to Des Moines, IA and I will never forget that 16 hour drive with the cats in a cage and my mom and brother along for the trip. It was the 1st time they’d been in the car that long since their trip from NC to NY 3 years prior. For the 1st 2 hours before daylight, all we heard was Marley screaming and after a while all it sounded like was, “mom, out” over and over and over!  My brother covered their cage with a blanket to block out the sights and that seems to do the trick. They weren’t happy about the ride but they tolerated it. 

These were the most well traveled cats you’ve probably ever met, in 2009 we moved again to Sidney, NE an 8 hour drive west of Des Moines. Then in late 2010 we moved to Shawnee, KS another 8 hour drive away. They have always adapted very well to their new surroundings. Exploring a new house, finding their new favorite hideaway. Only 6 months later we were headed over to Germany on our 1st expat assignment but the girls would not be making that trip. Instead they were headed back to NY to live with Grandma while we were overseas. 

It was a huge change for my mom who is actually allergic to cats but we were very grateful for her taking them and she did fine with them for the 2 1/2 years we were gone. They had a bad habit of clawing and unfortunately had their way with mom’s sofa so we were happy to replace that when we got back to the states. 

After their time with Grandma, Marley and Kensie were off to Bettendorf, IA. We underwent treatments for IVF and soon found out Marley and Kensie were going to have a baby sister, a human one! It was a long road of infertility and the girls were always there with me, comforting me on a negative pregnancy test day or cuddling when they knew they needed to. Well they would cuddle 24/7 if we let them but they seemed to sense when it was really needed ❤️. In July of 2014 Evelyn was born and the girls were certainly curious. I was nervous about having cats around a baby but everything went perfectly fine.  They never bothered Evie but were happy to sleep by her and wake when she cried.  

Almost 2 years later we were moving back to Shawnee, KS in the spring of 2016.  The girls were 12 now and still doing great.  We found out that Marley had a thyroid issue so adding in a daily medicine was part of the routine.  We were also surprised to find out that we were adding a little boy to the family now too!  William was born in January of 2017.  The girls did great with both kids, in fact they were quite comfortable to just hide most of the day until the kids were asleep 😊

In December of 2017 we moved 3 hours back north to West Des Moines again.  Another new house to explore and find their favorite hiding place.  This was a ranch style house with a very large storage area and for the first time we actually had a cat door installed in the basement door so the girls could go in and out and the kids could stay out!  In Iowa we went back to the same Vet that we used when we were there 10 years before.  Dr. Young remembered us and was happy too see the girls back and doing well.  Here we did find out that Marley was in early stages of kidney disease but easily manageable with prescription food.  Both girls were not very excited about eating the kidney diet food.  It was a struggle to find a combination that they would eat!

At the end of 2019 when we found out about expat assignment we knew that the girls would not be going to Germany with us, they were 15 now.  Grandma now lived only 15 minutes away from us and graciously said she would take the cats while we were gone.  Our plan was to stay with my mom only a few weeks before going to Germany but when the news of Covid hit we actually ended up being there a little over 2 months.  Marley and Kensie always had a quiet hideaway everyplace we lived and being in mom's townhouse with the two kids around them 24/7 might have been a little much.  They tried to hide but the kids loved being around them.  At night after the kids were asleep the girls would surface for good and look to be comforted by mama!

In April I took Kensie into see Dr. Young because she was very lethargic and could not eat, drink, walk or stand.  I was so nervous I thought it was going to be the end but she ended up having an infection and was treated with antibiotics and an IV of fluid and in a few days was back to herself.  Dr. Young did say that she had advancing kidney disease and wasn't going to get better, she may bounce back for a while but it was inevitable her time was numbered.  Great, we were leaving soon and I didn't need to think about that!  Luckily the girls were doing well by the time we said our goodbyes on May 13th.  

Only 3 and 1/2 weeks later mom let me know that Kensie wasn't doing too well again.  It was very similar to the last time except she lost control of her bladder and was just about completely immobile.  Mom called Dr. Young and took Kensie in on Monday, June 9th.  It WAS the end this time.  And the guilt I felt for not being there was very difficult.  It was ALL so difficult, mom took such great care of her and had a very hard time with this.  She cuddled her right till the very end.  We would just cry to each other on the phone.  I cried so hard, honestly I can't remember crying so hard about something.  One of my original babies was gone.  

The reality of having pets is extremely hard then they get older or sick or something happens to them.  It just plain sucks.  Knowing that Kensie had a fabulous, very cushy life gives me comfort.  Knowing shes not in pain anymore gives me comfort.  Now we pray Marley holds out for a while longer, we just can’t go through that again too soon!

Evie wanted Kensie cremated so that she can live with us forever ❤️ we have her in a beautiful little box and even have a plaster paw print that Grandma is making into an ornament for us to hang. We will miss this sweet old girl like crazy and remember all the joy she brought to our lives. Rest In Peace Kens.